Decomposition - Bloating

This is also known as putrefaction (according to wikipedia). Bloating is the second stage of decay. When a corpse has been sitting for more than 24 hours, it begins to bloat. This is the building of gases as bacteria eats away at the remains of the inside of the dead animal. Essentially bloating takes place in the abdomen of the creature, but sometimes it extends into the neck. I call this the “Teddy Bear” affect.
At first glance or if you’re speeding, the creature… let’s just say it’s a groundhog, looks like a stuffed animal. In fact, I distinctly remember hiking at girl scouts through cattails next to a lake one summer and seeing an old pillow in the distance which we wanted to explore. Our troop leader kindly explained it wasn’t a pillow much to our disgust. Anyway, as the animal bloats, it often turns to its back since gases rise in the abdomen, and it’s little paws stretch open like a teddy bear waiting for a hug.
I wouldn’t suggest hugging or popping the poor groundhog in “Teddy Bear” state. I have, however, heard a tale of someone choosing to release a groundhog from its expanded slumber. Two gentlemen, who we’ll just call Josh and Joe, were hooking school and happened upon a particularly plump groundhog lying on his back, dead eyes searching the sky. Unable to pass up this bulging sack of mischief, Josh and Joe decided to deflate said unfortunate with the rear passenger tire of their 1992 blue Geo Metro.
After arranging the vehicle in perfect alignment – tire to tummy – Josh and Joe shifted the Metro into reverse. The tire rolled slowly back until the ever famous and familiar ‘thump’ was felt followed immediately by ‘Ssss.’
In concert, both car doors shot open and the occupants of the Metro – our friends Josh and Joe – bailed out of the little blue compact flailing, coughing, and gagging in surprise and utter dismay. You see, the gasses of said “Teddy Bear” groundhog escaped the vessel and emanated into the undercarriage of the tiny Geo to be sucked into the ventilation and thus into the faces of the simple occupants.
This is the first lesson all must learn in regards to roadkill. Just because a creature is dead does not mean it is harmless. Just because the corpse looks like a teddy bear, doesn’t mean you should hug it either. In other words, while I will be taking time to observe roadkill in this piece, I will also always observe the rule to let bloated roadkill lay.